Happy summer everyone.  Before we get to Main Street Pub, lets review what’s happened since I last updated this blog.

It was really cold this past winter.  Seriously, it was throw-another-dog-on-the-fire cold in Florida.  So much for global warming.  Then, it didn’t rain for ages.  The weathermen on TV were all like, “We really need the rain…blah, blah, blah”.  Ya, whatever.  They say that every year.  Then we had the one big event that Melbourne, Florida is known for – the Melbourne Art Fest.

It was then that we realized things were not as we had known them to be at Main Street Pub.

As I’ve stated above, there was a time when Main Street Pub was our hangout.  We were there on opening night and welcomed this new establishment with open arms.  At the time, it was the only other place besides Meg ‘O Malley’s in Downtown Melbourne to remain open past 6PM.  There was no Foo Bar, Sheer, Trax, or Matt’s back then.  There was only Meg’s and Main Street.

Main Street Pub features four distinct areas.  For years, each area played a different style of music.  The Whiskey Bar played alternative and rock, the Tiki bar played margaritaville type music (and 80s flash back on Friday evenings), the upstairs, air conditioned Lava Bar played – I don’t even know, because it was quiet and in the background.  Lava Bar was just a cool place to hang out, talk, drink, and enjoy the air conditioning.  The front deck played some pop, top 40, dance stuff.  It was all so cool.

Then someone got the idea that “all the kids are listening to hip hop” and it was over. Suddenly, they were playing hip hop at the Tiki bar, the deck, and most horribly, tables were removed from the Lava Bar and a hip hop DJ was moved in.  Ugh.

Every area of Main Street Pub now plays hip hop.

My friends and I don’t listen to hip hop.  In fact, we don’t tolerate hip hop.  If a bar is playing hip hop we, along with our money, leave that place as if it were set on fire with jet fuel.

Furthermore, hip hop is completely over.  No one is listening to hip hop anymore, not even “the kids”.  Have you noticed that every used-to-be rapper is now busy trying to insert his lame rappings into dance songs in a vain attempt to keep himself employed?

Are there even any hip hop songs on the charts?  I’ve noticed only a few dance songs that feature this or that over-with rapper for a few rap verses here and there.  I’m not sure what is more pathetic, desperate rappers or clueless bar managers who still insist on playing hip hop. Give it up already.

Needless to say, Main Street Pub is no longer a hangout for us.  In fact, recently we were walking in front of the Pub and heard some lyrics from a ‘song’ that was playing on the deck.  If I were to recite these lyrics, I would be charged with a hate crime.  Disgusting.  I just rolled my eyes and walked on by.

Ironically, recently a representative from Main Street Pub was quoted in the local newspaper claiming that, because of a noise ordinance that prevents them from playing music at the Tiki bar until 2AM, their revenues were down by 50% on some nights.  Clueless.  I believe the reason that their revenues are down is exactly because of the type of music they are choosing to play.

If hip hop drove us away, how many countless others have been repulsed by it?

Apparently, the cluelessness isn’t limited to the music; it has spread to the food as well.

During the Art Fest my crew stopped in for lunch.  In the past, Main Street pub served up some tasty fare for lunch.  That wasn’t the case this year.  Take a look at the “slow cooked, shaved beef sandwich”.

Slow cooked, really?  Try, no cooked.  Apparently Dr. G is the new chef at Main Street Pub because this thing was an autopsy on a bun.

I don’t even know how to explain this sandwich.  It was very, very rare gristle, dipped in bar-b-que sauce and slopped onto a bun.  Look at it.  Just look at it.

All I can say about our former hang out is: Main Street Pub, WTF?

Why am I writing about a Disney venue on a Melbourne, Florida blog?  Because, before Melbourne had a downtown that stayed opened past 6PM, many of us seeking nightlife road-tripped to one of two places on any given Saturday night, Downtown Orlando or Walt Disney World’s Pleasure Island.

I had a Premium Annual Pass to Disney World for years and spent many a night going from club to club on Pleasure Island.  The two clubs that were my favorites were the Adventurers Club and Mannequins Dance Palace.

The Adventurers Club was so unique that I will have some trouble describing it and conveying its full esthetic richness.  It was a place that had a fully thought out storyline that played out every night with the help of an improvisational cast.

Upon entering, you found yourself in 1937 at the open house of the “Adventurers Club”.  This was the type of club where it’s members go off on safari to Africa, or to climb the Alps, or to discover the North Pole.  The artifacts they brought back from their exploits covered the walls of the club and acted as the set decor.

The story line was that the Club was hosting an open house membership drive on this very night, and everyone there would be able to become honorary Adventurers Club members.  Take the club oath, sing the club song, and you were in.

Besides the interactive goings on in the main salon of the club, special performances went on throughout the night in various other rooms such as the library, the mask room, or the treasure room.

The interaction between patrons and the performers of the club was really the heart of the experience at the Adventurers Club.

Another Favorite club of mine on Pleasure Island, or the entire world for that matter, was Mannequins Dance Palace.

It was a full on dance club with a stunning multi-million dollar light and sound show that was impeccably coordinated.  High energy techno and house music was the beat of the club.  The main feature of the place was a huge rotating dance floor.

Being on that dance floor was amazing.  The thunderous music, the unimaginably complex light show, and the motion of the dance floor would combine to produce a sensory experience that was almost spiritual.

There was also a stage area above the dance floor where performers would appear throughout the evening.

Other Clubs on the Island included 8-Trax (a 70s disco era club), the BET Soundstage, Motion (a pop music and video venue), the Jazz Club, The Rock-n-Roll beach club, and Comedy Warehouse (a club where comedians performed stand-up and improvisational skits).

There were also two stages on the Island where bands and other acts performed live.

But all that ended.

In what can only be described as one of the most inconceivably short sighted and out of touch decisions in the history of man, Disney closed the entirety of Pleasure Island on September 28th, 2008.

The clubs have sat depressingly dark and empty ever since.

Below is the Adventurers Club, as it has been since that day.

Here is Mannequins’ sad exterior as it has appeared for over two years.

Disney will be renaming this area also.  No longer will it be Pleasure Island.  It will be called Hyperion Wharf – once construction is completed two full years from now.

According to Disney’s official press release, Hyperion Wharf will feature:

• Lighted Walkways
• Shopping
• Themed Restaurants
• more Shopping

Try not to pee yourselves with excitement.  In case Disney management hasn’t noticed, shopping and dining can be found everywhere, even in the most podunk of towns.  No need to fly to Orlando for any of that.

Will residents of Melbourne be lured back to the Downtown Disney area after it opens?  Not a chance.  In the last several years here in Melbourne, our nightlife has exploded.  We have no need to leave town for nightlife.  And our dining options?  Top Notch.  Great food at reasonable prices can be found everywhere around the Space Coast.

We don’t need to drive for 90 minutes to eat with an artificial dinosaur, gorilla, or penguin and pay exorbitant prices for mediocre food.  But of course, that’s Disney’s entire business plan for Downtown Disney now, isn’t it?

The Burger Place occupies the location that previously had been Bella’s Italian Restaurant.  The building has been completely redone in an updated retro look.

It is a counter service restaurant, so you place your order at the counter and you are given a number.  This is because all burgers are made to order.

When they get busy, they sometimes use a novelty sound effect megaphone to call out the order numbers.  It’s actually funnier than it sounds.

The updated retro style continues into the dining area.

I really like this burger, it’s a full 8 ounces of beef.  But, the standout element, however, is the bun.  It’s “homemade” and it is soft and delicious.  The fries are the shoestring variety.

Besides soda fountain drinks they also serve malted shakes in keeping with the retro theme.  And what would a Downtown establishment be without beer?  The burger place recently added beer to their selections.

I recommend The Burger Place.  The burgers are really good, and the place is just plain cool.

Duffy’s Sports Grill is the kind of place that I’m very forgiving of.  It’s a sports bar with a great atmosphere.  They have a nice bar area, and a bazillion plasma TV sets playing every sport imaginable; including the UFC Championships every time they come around.

But suddenly, I’ve had my doubts about Duffy’s.  It was a long time coming, but it came down to the food.

I was so mesmerized by the Plasma TVs and the 2-for-one happy hours that I didn’t pay any attention to the food.  I do love the 2-for-one happy hours by the way.

Then it started with the fries.  I came to realize that I don’t care for the Duffy fries.  Especially the sweet potato fries.

I would always excitedly order the sweet potato fries with my burgers (we’ll get to the burgers in a minute) and every time I would disappointingly end up with a small pile of what seemed like the ends of the batch.  You know, the small bits left in the fry basket after all the big, thick fries were already served.  Small, greasy, over-cooked, limp bits.  And this would happen every single time.  Every single time.

Why Duffy’s, Why?

So, I started ordering the regular potato fries.  Same thing.  I’d do better with a bag of Ore-ida and a toaster oven.

Whatever.  I gave up ordering fries.  But even then I wasn’t questioning the food.

Then Duffy’s introduced their special – limited time only – World Cup Menu.  On this special menu were World Cup Crab Cakes.  I love crab cakes, so I ordered them.

I don’t recommend making these at home, but here is the closest approximation to the Duffy’s World Cup Crab Cakes that I can come up with:  Grab a can of Seafood Feast with the pull-off top at your local supermarket.  What’s that?  Can’t find it.  Oh, you’re looking in the wrong isle.  Try two isles over.  That’s right – the Fancy Feast brand.

Now take a bunch of bread crumbs, some pimento for color, and mix it all together with some egg and mayo.  Got that?  Now, form two cakes and toss them into a deep fryer with some old oil until dark brown.  Too soon, that’s golden brown.  I said dark brown.

Are they nice and dark and greasy?  Great. Now serve them up with the awful fries from above, and wala. Bon Appetite!

They were World Cup alright – third world.

Even at this point, I was still willing to give Duffy’s the benefit of the doubt.  I must have been dazzled senseless by those plasma TVs.

On the latest visit to Duffy’s, I ordered their patty melt, well-done.  It’s a burger.  Can’t screw up a burger, right?

I ordered well-done; what I got was practically raw.  It was beef sashimi on toast.

I should have realized something was up when the waitress left our table with the order, walked directly to the kitchen, and then walked directly back to our table with the patty melt in hand – with no down time.

Well, that beef sashimi went back to the kitchen to be tossed out and I ordered nothing more.

Duffy’s, I’m so disappointed.  Let’s get it together guys.  I really like Duffy’s otherwise and there is nowhere else to go to watch a bazillion plasma TV sets all at once.

Tiki Taproom and Grill is located off the main Downtown strip of New Haven Avenue.  It’s over on Henley Court.  To get there from New Haven, you have to go around the corner of the building that houses Firehouse Steakhouse Restaurant, and Yapa (formerly Austin’s). 

From there, you will see a metallic archway announcing Henley Court.  Proceed under the archway and down the alley.  You’ll think you’re heading in the wrong direction because you’ll go past a run-down, overgrown parking lot and an abandoned building.

Finally emerging from behind some un-trimmed palm trees on a neighboring lot will be the Tiki Taproom and Grill.

Tiki can be seen and easily accessed from Melbourne Avenue also, with plenty of parking nearby.

This location had been a bar in the ancient history of the Downtown.  Most recently, it had been a tattoo parlor.  Until this current iteration though, the building had fallen into major disrepair.

Now, as you can see, the place has been completely renovated both inside and out, with a deck being added out in front for alfresco dinning and drinking.

Inside, the colors are friendly and inviting.  The bar dominates the center of the room with numerous tables around the perimeter.  Mounted Plasma TVs play sporting events.

The bar boasts an eclectic collection of brews on tap.  Here, I’ve discovered a new favorite beer, Stella Artois.

Not to be overlooked at Tiki, in fact maybe the primary reason for a visit, is the food.  I’m not sure how to classify the menu.  It seems to be a fusion of Mexican / Cuban / Caribbean influences.  Tacos, nachos, burritos, and jerk chicken are offered next to more standard fare such as salads and burgers.

The menu warns customers that some dishes may be “hot and spicy” to some palates.  However, of the items we ordered, none were deemed too “hot” to be enjoyed.

I ordered the Tiki Tacos – “slow roasted pork, with cilantro, onion, and chipotle jicama slaw in a soft tortilla”.  These tacos were so good that I could eat them everyday. Not kidding.

An accompaniment of chips and salsa is presented with a choice of three different salsas; a red one, a green one, and one described as “the good stuff”.  The “good stuff” is reportedly very hot.  I opted for the red salsa.

An item of note on the menu is something I haven’t seen since the Chi Chi’s Restaurant chain closed – fried ice cream!

A Volkswagen Beetle mounted above the entrance is a quirky, unexpected surprise.  At least it will be to people not reading this blog.

We have declared Tiki Taproom and Grill to be a new hangout, as it’s relaxed atmosphere and friendly, attentive service offers a great place to enjoy some good brews and indulge in a delicious meal. 

I’m looking forward to trying that fried ice cream.

I finally tried a pizza from Brooklyn Pizza & Pasta in Viera.

As you may know, I am a complete pizza snob.  Being from Northeastern Pennsylvania – home of the best pizza places in the galaxy – I have been searching for a decent pizza since I landed here in Central Florida.

Well, my search continues.

Despite all the breathless rave reviews on various sites about Brooklyn Pizza & Pasta in Viera, it is - OK.  It’s fine.

Ordinary sauce, mozzarella cheese, and an overly crispy crust makes it a better-than-average Brevard County pizza.

This was disappointing for me.  I had such high hopes for this pizza after reading the various reviews on-line.

To make matters worse, I was actually served an old pizza.  The pizza wasn’t freshly made. It had been sitting around for a while, re-warmed, and then given to me.

I don’t know why some pizza places think they can get away with this.  It is immediately obvious at first bite when the pizza is old.

With all that said, I’d have to rank this pizza the second best in Brevard; close behind Bizzaro at Indialantic Beach.  Seriously, it’s pretty good pizza for this area and is a pretty good approximation of “New York Style” pizza.

I imagine it may have been ranked even higher than Bizzaro if the pizza had been fresh.  But, I can’t say for sure.

Although, I have to point out, in Northeastern Pennsylvania, this place wouldn’t even register.

We opted to drink inside the local establishments this Friday.

After a few rounds at Off the Traxx, we decided to move onto the next establishment but ended up spending time on the street anyway after running into people we knew.

Remember the place formerly known as Moonstruck?  It now has new owners and a new name – Dondi’s Downtown.  I’m sad that Moonstruck wasn’t more successful.  I really like the idea of a wine bar.

I can see, however, why it didn’t do well.  The seating in the place was never appropriate for a crowd of any size.  Most of the floor area was taken up by a large couch and overstuffed armchairs; as if Chandler, Joey, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachael might drop by for coffee.

I’m not sure if Dondi has addressed this issue, but I wish Dondi much luck.

Speaking of wine, did you know that Lexi Martini & Tapas has self serve wine machines?

Here’s how they work:  You get a debit card at the bar and the bartender will place a monetary sum on the card for you.  You then get a wine glass and head over to the bank of machines.  There you decide which wines you would like to try.  The wine bottles are displayed openly for each machine.  You also choose among three different pour sizes: sample, half, and full.  The pour sizes are priced accordingly and that amount is deducted from the card.

You slide your card into the machine, place your glass under the spout, and push the button for the pour size you would like.  The wine is dispensed into your glass.  That’s it.  You keep choosing wines and drinking until  your card is empty.

I love this concept.  You may have seen the same type of machines on the Travel Channel when Samantha Brown visited Winter Park and dropped in at the Wine Room bar on her show “Passport to Great Weekends-Orlando”.

Oh by the way, they also have martinis at Lexi Martini bar.

Suddenly, it was time to eat and a short walk to Island Pasta was in order.

It was pretty late and we had missed the dinner crowd.  The photo above shows the bar area of Island Pasta.

My favorite item on their menu is the crab cake sandwich.  The crab cakes are delicious, even if they didn’t photograph well.  Pictured also is Island Pasta’s home-made tartar sauce and their sweet potato fries.  Mmmm.

By the time dinner was finished, the street party was winding down.  Back out on the street, I noticed several new establishments that will be opening soon.  I’ll be covering all of them in upcoming posts.

DJ Andy Kovacs hosts Club XL, as the show is called, live on Saturday nights starting at 7PM and running all the way until 3AM.  This is exactly the type of music they should be playing in the clubs around here.

The music is a mix of vocal trance, techno, and assorted club remixes.

The show is the perfect music to play in your car either on your way to the bars or while driving between bars on a Saturday night.

Of course, it will be somewhat of a disappointment for you when you get to your destination and find the music you listened to in your car on the way there was better than what they are playing in the place.

You can find WXXL’s Club XL just 2 clicks down from 107.1 A1A and their top40 and hip-hop mess on Saturday nights.

Perfect summer weather, a beautifully remodeled ocean-front deck, breath-taking views of the Atlantic; it’s a combination of elements that can’t miss, right?

The Crowne Plaza on the Beach in Indialantic has all those elements, yet somehow managed to produce a Friday deck party that seemed less than the sum of it’s parts.

We attended the deck party a few Friday’s ago and found that what should have been a relaxing, rejuvenating experience was instead a disappointing one.

Friday night festivities began with me dashing out of work like Fred Flintstone hearing the whistle blow.  Within minutes of arriving home, I was showered, blow dried,  styling-gel’ed, cologne’d, dressed, and out the door heading to the deck party.

The Crowne Plaza deck party features half price drinks and $3 off appetizers from 4pm until 7pm.  My friends and I arrived on the deck at 6pm, enough time for one or two rounds of drinks at the least.

The most coveted seats on the deck are the padded benches that directly face the ocean.  There is a low railing in front of them that you can kick your feet up on, sit back, and really relax.  As is always the case, not one of those benches was vacant.  I think people show up at noon to score one of those benches.

For everyone else, there are standard round patio tables.  We headed for one of those.  A friendly waitress took our drink orders within minutes of us sitting down

We noticed 107.1 A1A radio was not broadcasting live from the deck as they had last season.  Instead, the music was being supplied by a stand-alone DJ.  The DJ was not located in the usual location, the cabana on the south end of the deck, but instead was shoved into a corner by the bar.

The problem wasn’t so much the DJs location.  The problem was the speaker configuration and amplification.

There are two methods you can use to fill a space with sound.  One is to have several speakers spread throughout the area and played at a moderate volume.  This fills the space with sound evenly, and results in a pleasant sound field for all listeners.

The second way is to have only two speakers at one location BLASTING so that the sound reaches even the farthest points of an area.  This results in an very unpleasant sound field for those sitting close and a lack of sound for those farther away from the speakers.

Unfortunately for us, the latter method was chosen. So, we were treated to blasting top 40 because of our proximity to the speakers.

We didn’t show up on the deck to hear blasting top 40; we were there to enjoy the fantastic setting, have some drinks, and relax.  Music should enhance this experience not overwhelm it.

I would even have been fine just listening the crashing ocean waves with no music at all.

To make matters worse, this was also the night of one of the Crowne Plaza’s Luau parties.  The Luau party features a live Hawaiian band.  So, on one side of the deck we had blasting top 40, and on the other side we had blasting Hawaiian music.  The cacophony on that deck cannot be described in words.

After one round, we decided to leave.  It just wasn’t comfortable with all that noise.  I really want to love this deck party and have it become a regular Friday night thing.  Crowne Plaza, fix this please!

Our next stop was Squid Lips at the old Conchy Joe’s location, at the base of the Eau Gallie causeway.

The new owners are really utilizing the great waterfront location of this property well.  They have removed all the overgrown vegetation and have made the Intercoastal beach usable.  Let’s hope they keep going and add more seating and perhaps even a bar right down on the beach.

The restaurant itself is exactly the same as when it was Conchy Joe’s except, I suspect, the food is much better.

When we arrived, there was a huge crowd waiting to be seated.  Not really wanting to sit inside anyway, we headed out back to the Beach Deck bar.  There we were lucky enough to find a table on the deck.

The Beach Deck bar resembles a surf shack, with two bars and some wide-screen TVs. There’s also a trivia game on some screens for which you can request an electronic game box to play.  It’s actually a lot of fun.

The Beach Deck bar has a separate menu than the restaurant. This menu is basically appetizers with a few choice entrée selections thrown in.  I ordered the Coconut Crusted Onion Rings served with an orange marmalade dipping sauce.  Mmmm.

After devouring our appetizers, we spent the next few rounds of drinks exploring the beach and the decks.

Finally, it was time to leave.  We decided that appetizers didn’t cut it for dinner, and we needed something more substantive to eat before calling it a night.  The consensus was Island Pasta in Downtown Melbourne.

Being a late hour, our party had no problems getting a table at Island Pasta.  As we were about to order, our waitress explained that the soup of the day – crab soup with coconut milk – was “absolutely amazing”.

Well, I ordered that soup.  The waitress was right.  It was amazing.  I am normally not a soup person, but I wanted to lick that bowl clean like a dog.  And I would have to, if I didn’t think it would have caused a scene.

The rest of our food was served and it was all delicious.  I’ll have to write more about Island Pasta in a future post.

After the meal, we called it a night on one of our rare early Friday evening outings.

What transpired after that could not have been foreseen by anyone.  Both storm fronts dissipated before they even reached Melbourne.  Sure the sky was filled with dark ominous clouds, but that was about it.

Even though the Fest was canceled, people showed up anyway – in droves.  When my friends and I arrived Downtown around 8PM, we found the sidewalks mobbed.  Every restaurant and bar we passed was mobbed also.  We headed straight to Off the Traxx figuring since it is so huge inside, it was the one place most capable of handling a crowd comfortably.  We were not wrong.  Even though Traxx was crowded, it was not impassable.

The pizza in that placed smelled good, but we knew those few ovens they have could in no way keep up with the demand of this crowd.  We opted for drinks only.  We made our way through the crowd and ended up at the back patio bar.  There we stopped for a few drinks and to say hi to friends before making our way to the next bar.

Heading west, we stopped in at Meg O’Malley’s.  Meg’s was slammed.  We couldn’t fight our way to the bar if we tried. Every single table was taken as well.  So, we continued onto Matt’s Casbah.

Something about Matt’s seemed to summon us and we went in.  Matt’s has an outdoor bar area and, past some sliding doors, an inside bar.  We headed inside and ordered some drinks.

We grabbed some seats in the seating area and enjoyed us some NASCAR, which was playing on the wide screen.  My Captain & Coke was expertly mixed; just the right amount of the Captain to not taste too alcohol-ey.

One round of drinks was it for Matt’s.  The DJ was starting.  The DJ there is a Hip Hop DJ – who still listens to that crap?!  So we were off to Main Street Pub.

Main Street Pub at the time we arrived was oddly uncrowded.  Main Street, however, is where everyone ends up.  So in an hour or so, it would be packed.  We took advantage of the lack of crowd and snagged some seats in the Lava Bar.  Lava Bar is the cool (air conditioned) room upstairs that’s decorated with many lava lamps.

I don’t remember what I drank at Main Street.  Odd.

After a few, we bailed out of Main Street to finally grab something to eat.  We ended up driving to Smokey Bones near the mall.  Surprisingly, we found live entertainment going on there.

In case you don’t know, Smokey Bones is trying to re-brand themselves as a neighborhood hangout.  They’ve even tried tying their website into social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook.  Part of that push is now, apparently, to offer live entertainment on weekend nights.

The lone guitarist with an amplifier was just not up to our standards, so we asked to be seated at a table that was the farthest point away from his amplifier.  We were accommodated with a table near the back corner of the restaurant.

Some time during our bar-b-que gorge, the guitarist lapsed into Freebird.  What type of a brain wants to hear that song AGAIN?

That’s about it for the Friday Fest that wasn’t.  Despite the cancellation, a good time was had by all.